9 Mistakes People Make When Talking About Rheumatoid Arthritis – Healthline

Sometimes, it’s better to say nothing at all.

None of us says all the right things all the time. I’m constantly working on ways to improve my communication.

Half the battle is being aware of what to say or not — and how to say it. Tone and delivery are often …….

Sometimes, it’s better to say nothing at all.

None of us says all the right things all the time. I’m constantly working on ways to improve my communication.

Half the battle is being aware of what to say or not — and how to say it. Tone and delivery are often almost as important as the message and the intent.

There are things that make certain discussions more delicate or sensitive, but that doesn’t have to mean more awkward.

Through living with illness, I’ve found that people sometimes just don’t know what to say or how to talk about it in a meaningful, engaging, and compassionate way. So here’s a quick primer on the mistakes to avoid when you’re discussing rheumatoid arthritis (RA).

Rheumatoid arthritis isn’t the same as wear-and-tear osteoarthritis (OA). It’s an inflammatory autoimmune disease that results from an overactive or malfunctioning immune system.

Although OA also involves inflammation, RA is a systemic disease that can lead to serious complications, extending well beyond stiff and swollen joints.

The OA that you or your loved one may have gotten from an old sports injury, a job working on their feet, age, or general wear-and-tear — while still possibly painful and debilitating — isn’t the same as rheumatoid arthritis.

Which brings me to my second point…

Don’t compete, compare, one-up, or insert yourself into someone else’s journey.

Instead, listen and show empathy, and only share your story if it adds value. If you are sharing something personal about your own medical experiences, ask yourself whether you’re doing it for yourself or for the person you’re talking with.

Part of friendship is being able to share ups and downs with each other. If someone with RA is sharing a “down” with you, don’t interrupt to share your own. Listen and truly hear them.

Later in the conversation, when appropriate, you can share the things going on in your life and engage in that natural give-and-take of friendship. People with chronic conditions can often make really good listeners.

Just be sure you’re doing your part to listen, too, and make sure your friend feels heard.

Here are four questions to keep in mind before saying something: